The Story

The rise of the House of Goblins

Long ago, Goblins roamed the mountains, a constant threat to everyone that stepped foot in their territory. Though small in stature, this temperamental race had strength in numbers and a pettiness that knew no equal. So petty in fact that skirmishes among their own ranks would break out for something as little as not holding the door open for the Goblin behind you.

The only thing that the Goblin race could agree on was their unhealthy obsession with GORE. A luminous green mineral of great strength and beauty, GORE was used for everything from building materials to seasoning grilled rats(though no outsider has ever tasted it, it is rumoured to taste like moldy cheese rolled in sewer water).

There are stories of some brave souls who have entered the Goblin domain to attempt to barter with them for this mysterious rock, but those who survived the encounters were usually left as muttering fools with a distinct lack of fingers. To the outsider, the Goblin world would forever be out of reach.

The Goblins didn’t like to share and that included the mountains they called home. Unfortunately for them the contents of those mountains were coveted by other species as well and the Goblin kingdom found itself under assault from the rival nations of the Dwarves and Vermin. The war became known as the Shortstack War and was the bloodiest conflict in history for any race under four feet tall. Though the war was never decisively won by any side, the Goblins lost ground and receded further under the mountains.

For centuries they lived underground, isolated, never seeing daylight, until one day after a fourth of July fireworks tragedy created a hole deep enough to penetrate the network of caves under the surface. At first, the Goblins emerged cautiously before gaining the boldness to venture out from the caverns and into the corners of human society. They observed humans from a distance, studying the peculiar behaviours they witnessed.

Upon discovering the local landfills they believed they had discovered a Human treasure trove to rival their own GORE reserves. Before long, they began to mimic what they saw and use what they found, often bringing these new behaviours back to Goblin society. They developed a taste for 80’s action movies and romantic ballads, among other things. Life underground would be forever changed but one thing never did, their love of that beloved green rock GORE.